A pilgrims reflection
I decided to do the Camino under the assurance that if I got nothing else out of it, I’d see some beautiful scenery. Nothing else really felt sure. I didn’t know if the worries and struggles that had been accumulating over the years, and that I was perhaps unconsciously bringing to the road would feel better, or worse, or hold me back. I didn’t know the people I was walking with or if we’d find much common ground.
I was surprised how quickly I almost felt ashamed of at least the latter doubt, and how companionship felt open and easy. Maybe it was the natural sincerity of the individuals, amongst them people who have made and are making courageous choices for God. Maybe there is something owed to the simplicity of stripping back to your unfiltered self and your 7kg rucksack, with the only task in hand being to put one foot in front of the other, keeping a shared commitment to cheer each other on. In a world where we can often struggle to build genuine connections, it seems clear to me that you don’t need much more than that.
And how much easier did these friendships make the journey when it got hard! Someone made me laugh pretty much every day, and I owe solely to this the fact that my multiple blisters never got the better of me. The pretty scenery delivered, but it was just a good backdrop in the end.
I’m not ashamed to admit to a fairly messy cry in the cathedral. The overwhelming feeling was to my surprise, of relief. I think in some part it was just the obvious physical relief of finally putting down my bag after five days. But it was also a relief to realise the burdens and doubts I had been carrying did feel lighter somehow. There were so many times in life that I felt exhausted and alone. ‘Knock and the door will be opened to you’ was the promise that I found myself anchoring to whenever I felt lost, and when God felt out of reach. I think this was my way of knocking – joining a group of people I didn’t know to walk 114km- and for the first time in a long time, I felt relieved to feel I’d been heard.
In the five short days I found three things to be true. First, that some journeys aren’t meant to be taken alone. When you travel together, the burden is lighter and the journey is happier. Second, that when you seek, you will find. Maybe not immediately, but surely. And third, that I’ve eaten enough tortilla to last me a lifetime.
By Clare Dempsey
